Ruby Pryde - Jan 28 2020
Goal Setting: Is It Worth The Hype?
New year, new me, new goals, right?
We’ve heard it all before, we’ve done it all before and we have no doubt failed it all before.
An annual cycle of committing to ourselves and our wildest dreams at the beginning of each year, and within a matter of weeks, seeming to fall straight back into old behaviours and patterns. And as a result, goal setting (particularly in the new year) has gotten somewhat of a bad rap.
But whether you’re an avid goal setter or think they are nothing more than empty promises, written, structured and intentional goals are what separate the successful from the unsuccessful, the doer’s from the dreamers.
A harvard business study found that 14% of people who have unwritten goals are 10 times more successful than those without goals. And those who write them down are three times more successful than the 14% with unwritten goals. Long story short, the more detailed your goals are, the better off you will be!
So with that being said, we have broken down what it is that will put you above the rest when following through on your goals and intentions for the new year and beyond.
Fail to prepare and prepare to fail, as they say.
It all comes down to the planning.
From the good old 'I want to eat healthier', to 'I want to run a marathon', most of us are pretty well versed in the tried and tested (and often unsuccessful) New Years resolutions. Think: I want to buy a new car, I want to get a promotion or even, I want to buy a house.
Do any of those sound familiar?
Whilst all very admirable goals, these provide very little in terms of context. In reality, they actually provide very little in terms of anything at all.
Sure, they are an overarching theme for your goals, but the latter are open ended and extremely broad, which not only give you no direction, but create more space for you to make excuses as to why you don’t need to work towards them today. Cue the all time classic (and our personal favourite) “I’ll do it tomorrow”. Does anyone ever actually do it tomorrow?
Having smaller, more attainable goals to help you reach your larger ones is the most realistic and proven way to help you achieve your desires.
Please step in, SMART goals.
Time Based goals are the OG when it comes to goal setting.
If your goals aren’t a combination of the above, or something of similar merit, then it is more than likely that you are setting yourself up for failure before you have even begun - a major contributor in so many people falling off the bandwagon so soon after they start.
When identifying what it is you want to work for, getting specific on what it is that you want will help you create a clearer vision and plan on the work you need to do in order to get there.
For example; if you have set yourself a goal of buying a house within the next 12 months, try starting with getting clear on how you want your house to look. Where you want it to be, how you want it to feel, heck even the types of taps you want to have in the bathroom.
The more specific, the better. Doing so will not only allow you to get an understanding of your budget and where you do and don't want to look but it will allow you to create more purposeful and direct action. No time wasted on indecision.
After grasping what the end goal is going to look like, you can then begin to plan around how you are going to get there. This then entails the other four subheadings to help you better navigate the daily actions you need to take in order to get you to exactly where it is that you want to be. Making sure your goal is measurable, attainable, relevant to your circumstances and realistically time based.
No matter how big or small those daily actions will be, it is the things you do everyday that make up your life, so make them count!
Patience, consistency and working out your why
Goals that you set for yourself are unlikely to be achieved overnight. Devastating, we know.
Patience and consistency are two of the hardest tasks when it comes to achieving your goals. An understanding that things aren’t going to miraculously change overnight is something that many of us struggle to come to terms with (us included).
These days, we can have practically anything we want at our fingertips with the touch of a button. It’s no wonder that our tolerance for anything that keeps us waiting for longer than 5 minutes sends us into a frustration frenzy.
Now, its inevitable that throughout your journey of achieving your goals, you will lose motivation, you will lose determination and sometimes you’ll probably feel like giving up. You are human, and it's completely ok.
With that being said, there are ways to get through these low moments that will help to keep you on track and one that triumphs all is being connected to your WHY.
Your why is your emotional connection to your goals. It is why you get out of bed every morning, why, even when you feel like you want to give up, you keep pushing through, why when you have nothing left to give, you find the strength to keep on going. It's the bigger picture that drives you from the core. It may sound cliche, but it really is the back bone of reaching those goals.
Find a quiet place with a pen and paper and start to jot down reasons as to why you want to achieve your goals. Try to include deeper level goals and really tune into your emotions.
Whilst most of us wouldn't say no to a little extra cash, or a body like a Victoria's Secret Angel, surface level reasoning doesn't always lead to the most achievable (or realistic) goals. So rather than opting for something along the lines of “I want to be rich” try and exude more meaningful goals.
Whether that be something like being more present with your nearest and dearest, or for all you ‘do gooders’ out there - helping as many people as you can, are shown to be a hell of a lot more effective.
When it comes to goals, communication is key.
The way in which you word your goals is exactly how you will shape your reality to be. So choosing the right language when writing them out is an important step to not skim past.
A phrase that you may or may not have heard of before - “stop shoulding all over yourself”. Psychologist, Clayton Barbeau used this to describe cognitive distortion. And what do we mean by that? Well, how many times a week do you say things along the lines of I should go to the gym, I should get started on that presentation, I should stop scrolling and be more present.
Do you see the theme running through all of those statements? All of them carry an “I have to” kind of attitude as opposed to “I want to”. And so, whether it's consciously or unconsciously, you’re creating an element of resistance when working towards your goals all in the name of “should”.
Instead of using words that are vague, negative or create some form of resistance, try replacing it with words or phrases that are definitive and purposeful. Think: I will go to the gym, I am going to get started on that presentation, I want to cook dinner tonight, and so on and so forth.
Do you see how, with just the slightest change of words, these goals have gone from something that you should do, to something that you will do? A simple adjustment that will make a world of difference.
Talking the talk but not walking the walk.
We’ve all been there. Writing down all of these amazing things we want to achieve, feeling motivated, inspired and ready to change our lives. And then we close our book and wait for said achievements to fall into our lap.
Oh, if only it were that simple.
When you get clear on what it is that you want, your brain will know exactly what to look for in order to help you get there. Opportunities, people, ideas etc. But it is up to YOU to action the abundance of opportunities that will be presented to you. Action is the key word here. You need to actually go after what you want, and not just expect it to magically appear without any work.
A list of goals without any action to support it looks more like a wish list to Santa Claus than a well thought out and structured plan for your future.
Get into the feels
Now finally, try considering who you'll be when you achieve your goals? How will you live and act? How will you show up in your everyday life?
Who will you be when you achieve all of your goals? What kind of friend, sibling, parent, friend or partner will you be? What will your routine look like? Who will you be surrounded by and how will all this feel?
Immerse yourself in the feelings of what having achieved those goals might feel like.. The energetic frequency you are operating on might even start to attract things into your life on that same wavelength. So naturally, the higher your vibe, the higher things you will attract. The lower your vibe, well, you know the drill.
When you begin to act as though all of the things you desire have already happened, you will begin to shape your life around that and with intentional action, goals, language and a whole lot of patience, you will be well on your way to achieving your goals.
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